This was the busiest, yet best, weekend I’ve had thus far in Ukraine. Saturday was my host brother’s wedding, Monday was my 24th birthday, and Sunday was a mix of wedding and birthday fun.
I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect from the wedding. I was half excited to get this cultural experience and half scared that I was going to mess up and make a fool of myself. Prior to the wedding, I knew two taboos to stay away from. One: do not give an even number of flowers (especially four/six yellow flowers). And two: do not give gifts under a doorway. [Samantha and I learned this through experience at a tea party when we attempted to give the hostess gifts through a doorway. The gifts were rejected and we had to move out of the doorway for another try]. But the wedding was a blast! Ukrainians definitely know how to party. Saturday we went from 10am till 10pm and started back up again Sunday at 11am.
So, in Ukrainian weddings, there are two “best friends.” They’re the American equivalent of the Maid of Honor and the Best Man. The first stop on Saturday was to the apartment of the female best friend Tanya (who’s also the bride’s younger sister). I went with a group of young people, including the groom/host brother Victor and his best friend/younger brother/my other host brother Vasia. One gal tried explaining to me that this first Ukrainian tradition was where a man buys a woman before the wedding. I was confused. What does he buy her? Flowers? Nope, he buys her. In this case, Vasia bought Tanya and gave her a lot of cash. After this interesting cultural exchange, we made our way inside. There I saw the bride Sonya all made up and gorgeous! In America, we have the tradition where the groom can’t see the bride until the ceremony. But I then realized that Ukraine doesn’t do that. They also busted out the alcohol and food at like 10:30am and we made a couple of toasts. We then made our way outside where we decorated cars. It was cool to see this similarity to American tradition (except we decorated four cars, instead of just one for the bride and groom). With the cars decorated and campaign in my system, we made our way to the wedding hall in Chernigiv. When we showed up, there were at least four other couples there to get married also. The bride, groom, and two best friends had a lesson on how to sign the official documents while we all waited outside. There were two rooms for weddings, the blue room and the pink room. When we found out we were placed in the pink room, we made our way upstairs for the ceremony. The bride and groom’s families stood on a rug on the right side of the alter, while everyone else stood on the left side. The ceremony lasted about 15 minutes and included Victor and Sonya signing the documents, drinking wine, and bowing to their families. After the ceremony, we headed out into the hall for lots of pictures, and then stood in line to congratulate the husband and wife.
Afterwards, I experienced another Ukrainian tradition. The bride and groom, along with friends, are supposed to visit historical monuments around town. We only had time to visit one. It was a white statue of a woman holding a child that I was told represented freedom. Again, campaign and chocolates were opened and more toasts were made. I then experienced another Ukrainian tradition. Chernigiv has this place called “The Red Square.” It’s a big, open square in the center of town, surrounded by buildings, with a red brick ground. The tradition involves all the decorated cars driving around The Red Square three times while honking. Not gonna lie, I felt pretty cool driving around honking with the wedding party as pedestrians watched us.
We then made our way to my house for the eight-hour reception, which included tons of food, alcohol, games, and dancing. There were three gals at the reception, including Tanya and her best friend, who spoke pretty fluent English. I really appreciated having them to talk with. I was thrown into all of the games. One game involved two teams of four. Each team was given three long ribbons and we had a race to braid them (my team lost). Another game involved three single guys who each sat on a stool and six single gals (two with each guy). In this game, the girls gave the guy our coats and a hat to put on; then we were given food and fed him; and lastly, we danced with him. The game started and I quickly put my coat on my teammate. Next thing I knew, Vasia came up to me holding his coat. “Cold; cold,” he told me, putting his coat on me. Precious host brother. My team rocked this game. That night, we had another activity specifically for the unmarried gals. Sonya sat on a chair as all the unmarried gals stood around her holding small lit candles. It was tradition for the groom’s mother (aka my host mom) to take off the bride’s veil and put a white cloth around her head. This was a sign of Sonya becoming like a daughter to Anna. Then Sonya went around to each of us, put her veil on us, danced with us, and blew out our candle. Then we put our candles on the ground and had to shape them in the form of a heart. This activity was followed by more dancing. An adorable old man and Vasia both wanted to dance with me. Vasia knew two English sentences that he kept repeating to me throughout the night. One, “I don’t speak English very well.” And two, “you are very beautiful girl.”
The next morning was a semi-celebration. It’s tradition to have a small party for the two best friends, Vasia and Tanya. People joke about how the two best friends will be next to get married. Lots of food was still around from the wedding day. This party was much more laid back than the previous day. Afterwards, I went into Chernigiv with Shannon, Samantha, and Kelsey for my pre-birthday activities. We met up with some people and went to Café Cuba. I received a nice mug and flowers! Lots of laughter and good times was shared at that dinner. Afterwards, we villagers had to leave back to Kolychivka. The next morning on my actual birthday, my host mom gave me three pretty pink roses, a necklace, and nylons. That day, we met our rotation LCF, who greeted me with a decorated birthday sign and mug. Shannon also came to class with a big birthday cake (totally appreciate all the work she went to getting me that cake!).
All-in-all, that weekend was fabulous! It was definitely an unforgettable Ukrainian weekend.
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